40 Hilarious Restaurant Reviews And Replies, As Shared On ‘Takeaway Trauma’ (New Pics)

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Many of us enjoy getting a cheeky takeaway after a hard day at work or school. Not only is it a way to reward ourselves for our efforts but we also end up supporting the local businesses and forming a bond with the shop owners. However, you can’t expect every single meal to be as stellar as what you’d get at a five-star restaurant. Some folks take it very personally if they have a sub-par experience and then vent their rage in the form of bad reviews.

That’s where the witty ‘Takeaway Trauma’ Instagram account comes in. The social media project collects the funniest and most unhinged customer reviews, and shares the savage comments that the restaurant owners came back with. Check out the freshest posts below and upvote your faves. Are we the only ones getting hungry right now? We hope not!

This post may include affiliate links.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Fair enough

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takeawaytrauma Report

Now, that's greasy!

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takeawaytrauma Report

Wtf kinda platform rates things out of 6? Sure it is just as arbitrary as 5, but you'd think it would stick to tradition.

Takeaways are huge in the United Kingdom. Statista notes that the fast food and takeaway market in the UK amounted to 21.37 billion pounds (27.46 billion dollars) in 2022, with a forecast of 22.04 billion pounds (28.32 billion dollars) in 2023.

The fun ‘Takeaway Trauma’ project has grown immensely since it was founded back in late 2020. At the time of writing, the Instagram page has grown to house 184k takeaway and sassy comeback-loving fans. It’s a favorite of many internet users and has become a popular niche for anyone craving a big dose of negativity with a bunch of comedy poured all over it. All you need is an internet connection, as well as a big bag of popcorn or a large portion of curry fries and you’ve got an enjoyable evening ahead of you, really.

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takeawaytrauma Report

She's still a bit dry

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takeawaytrauma Report

😬

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takeawaytrauma Report

I read that as Briany and was thinking "Who's she? The nun?"

It’s easy to see why the page is such a huge hit. The posts are incredibly relatable on so many levels. First of all, you’re dealing with the topic of food. That’s something that absolutely everyone can relate to because everyone needs to eat in order to survive. So the quality of the food and service is a touchy subject for many folks. Many of us have also eaten out at least once in our lives, so there’s another layer of relatability for you there.

Secondly, people tend to be drawn to negative news more than positive topics. Though we all enjoy wholesome content from time to time, it’s spicy takes, criticism, and drama that dominate our attention. That’s why reading negative reviews is its own form of entertainment. As is watching how business owners put overly-critical wannabe food critics in their place with their rapier-like wit.

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takeawaytrauma Report

I want to read her other reviews.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Put the address on the banned list

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takeawaytrauma Report

100% with the Kebab shop on this one!

And thirdly, there is a ton of comedy to enjoy on ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ Laughter helps us forget about our worries, improves our immune system, gives our internal organs a decent workout, and makes us feel good. So it’s no wonder that this cocktail of food, negativity, and humor has been so popular with the Instagram crowd!

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takeawaytrauma Report

Catstomer service, how meowt I ignore you today?

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takeawaytrauma Report

Messed up answer

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takeawaytrauma Report

Sarel down there is partially right. It is the big businesses and companies that are responsible for making so much plastic waste. Then they pin it on us to dispose of it properly. Recycling was made in the first place partly because of an ad I think IKEA sent out after introducing cheap light furniture made with plastic. Some of you might remember it; it was that one with someone driving a car and littering and a Native American picking up the litter and crying a single tear or smthn idk THE POINT IS that big companies and businesses will try to subtly pin the blame on us and make us do something about it while they do nothing >:/Edit: some people have pointed out to me that the ad was not made by IKEA, that’s my bad. HOWEVER it was funded by big plastic-producing companies like Coca Cola. Also, I’m also not saying that we don’t have to do anything, and that we aren’t partially to blame for this, I’m just saying we ALL have to do our part and these companies are slacking off and pushing the blame all onto us.

During a previous interview with the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ Bored Panda learned that the account even got featured on The Jonathan Ross Show, on the BBC. “I didn’t even realize they were airing it, they just did, and then someone just messaged the account telling me they saw it!” the founder told us earlier.

“I’ve definitely seen a big increase in audience, especially since the TV show. People seem to be more and more involved in the humor, it’s almost like we have our own little community, which is exciting,” they said.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Great review.

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takeawaytrauma Report

I'm not a fan of complaining about the price, unless it's relevant to the problem. If you're willing to pay 6 pound (or 7) for a waffle with ice cream that's on you. You know what you're getting. If however you pay 7 pounds for a waffle with ice cream and the waffle is the size of a cracker then fair enough.

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takeawaytrauma Report

What... what did I just read??

“I do see some really savage replies by business owners, some are so rude that I can’t actually post them as it’s pretty offensive—that’s how bad it's got!”

Back in late 2021, the founder of the project told us that they’d seen a surge in negative reviews about pizza deliveries. “It seems that the Neapolitan-style pizzas with the thin base seem to always fold over, or toppings fall off. It’s quite funny but at the same quite frustrating for the customer!” they said.

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takeawaytrauma Report

That response to the review. Not necessary.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Which restaurant is this?? Asking for a friend.

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takeawaytrauma Report

I have never rated a restaurant I haven't been to.

“Funnily enough, one thing I have learned is that most people only really write reviews if it’s really bad or really good—rarely in between. I think sometimes people are so annoyed and angry that in the heat of the moment after just receiving their ‘bad food,’ they go on to the internet and type everything they are thinking about right there and then,” they shared.

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takeawaytrauma Report

I love Grease, the culture, the islands, Athens and history is amazing.

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takeawaytrauma Report

I'm guessing some of these are from people that English is not their first language.

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takeawaytrauma Report

It was so the chef could keep an eye on it while he was cooking other stuff

Meanwhile, during another interview, the page founder opened up to Bored Panda about the inspiration behind ‘Takeaway Trauma.’ "I'm a big takeaway fan and found myself going to order a delivery and thought I’d check the reviews of a particular establishment. After checking the good reviews, I thought I better check the bad ones also," they said.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Doesn't help, this.One comment like this would not necessarily scare me off. The owner's response will.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Ugh, hurting a business for a joke? Downvoting this one.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Oh no, not the disrespectful water!

"I came across the most hilarious reviews and was genuinely crying with laughter. Without really thinking about it, I screenshotted the reviews just for my own personal use to send to friends, etc. People seemed to find them funny so I thought, let's try and curate these and create a page out of it!" they told Bored Panda.

According to the founder of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ folks ought to have more empathy and be more forgiving with restaurant staff. “People in general are so impatient and want things instantly. As soon as these high standards aren't met, the natural human reaction is to complain,” they said.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Probably tried to pay with followers

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takeawaytrauma Report

This story could have also gone horribly wrong

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takeawaytrauma Report

It doesn't actually say she didn't like the food, just the location.

"I think a lot of the time, people give too much stick to takeaways, however, with that being said, some of the images of takeaway food I’ve seen really do look awful, so I think you can only really determine it on a case by case basis,” they pointed out that there are two sides to this particular delicious and metaphorical food industry coin.

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takeawaytrauma Report

When you order a beef dish, (especially one that the beef is capable of falling out) you tend to expect to be able see or at least taste the beef. A typical sandwich usually contains between 3 & 5 oz of meat, so this one seems a lot more legit than some.

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takeawaytrauma Report

I'm really concerned that they know how dry their nana is.

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takeawaytrauma Report

you can still be creepy and rude and pushy to your wife.

We’d love to hear about the very worst (and best!) takeaways that you’ve ever had, Pandas, so swing by the comment section to share your experiences with all the other readers. Have any of you ever worked at a takeaway or fast food place? If so, we’re keen to hear about things from the other side of the counter.

Meanwhile, here at Bored Panda, we’re pretty big fans of ‘Takeaway Trauma,’ and you can check out our previous features about the project here and here when you’re done enjoying this list.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Teeth's!!??

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takeawaytrauma Report

You have received the curse of the black bird feather.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Wouldn't be so funny if they laught about missing leg or a blind person, right? Dental care is expensive and some problems comes from parents mistakes or sickness but somehow it's ok to laught at poor people :/

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takeawaytrauma Report

I looked at the date. Wasn't there some kind of bug going around? You know, the one that made cash transactions a bit frowned upon and everyone went contactless?

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takeawaytrauma Report

A woodworm walks into a bar... and says, "is the bar tender?"

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takeawaytrauma Report

I'd like to know if "lifting" was an incorrect spelling, an autocorrect, a poor translation, or if the pizza was levitating, or doing some weight lifting. So many possibilites.

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takeawaytrauma Report

Not UBER court!

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takeawaytrauma Report

Stay classy.

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takeawaytrauma Report

If he's been eating the "dead skin off the bottom of his great grandad' feet", he is in no position to criticise other's food.

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takeawaytrauma Report

i'd want to know if the food was poor before i spent £50

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Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction.

Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography. They have a diverse set of creative skills and a wide portfolio which ranges from photography to digital editing and traditional art. After graduating from Nottingham Trent University in 2018 they have worked as a freelance photographer until Bored Panda. When not editing, they enjoy biking, taking too many pictures of their dog and drawing.

man, fast food shop owners are total jerks when they get given a bad review.

I always sort by bad reviews and, if the owner responds, that response is how I decide if I use them or not. Mistakes happen. If it was a mistake, apologize. If it was a rude customer, say so. Immediately being a jerk says a lot.

I realize some of these reviews are translated from other languages but, dang, the grammar, spelling and situations are appalling.

It's so bad that a friend of mine told me that there was "no need to be polite" when I was using proper grammar and punctuation. I had to explain to her that no, I was not being stiff and formal, this is just how I usually type.

If a place you get food from is really bad you can report them and get them inspected by the hygiene people.

man, fast food shop owners are total jerks when they get given a bad review.

I realize some of these reviews are translated from other languages but, dang, the grammar, spelling and situations are appalling.

If a place you get food from is really bad you can report them and get them inspected by the hygiene people.